Mr. Grubbynutz goes to 'Ard Boyz

[droofus]

Hi all,

As promised, here is the first of my Ard Boyz reports. My list looked like this:

Warboss
Power klaw, bosspole, attack squig, cybork body, slugga
Big Mek
Kustom force field, choppa
5 Meganobz
3 kombi-skorchaz, 2 kombi-shootaz
Battlewagon
Big shoota, armor plates, red paint job, reinforced ram, grabby klaw
8 Cybork Nobz (count as troops)
Painboy, Waagh banner, 3 big choppaz, 2 slugga choppa, power klaw
Battlewagon
Big shoota, armor plates, red paint job, reinforced ram
30 Slugga Boyz
Nob with power klaw and bosspole
30 Slugga Boyz
Nob with power klaw and bosspole
30 Slugga Boyz
Nob with power klaw and bosspole
30 Shoota Boyz
Nob with power klaw and bosspole, 3 big shootaz
Deffkopta
Twin linked rokkitz, buzzsaw
3 Killa Kanz
Rokkitz
3 Killa Kanz
Rokkitz

I woke up on Saturday morning approximately an hour after my alarm was set to wake me up. Turns out I had set the time but had forgotten to turn the Alarm button on. D’oh! So after a frantic and apologetic call to my buddy (who I was supposed to be riding with to the carpooling spot), I began speeding frantically down the highway. Luckily, my comrades waited for me (I only ended up being around 25 minutes late hooray for speeding!) and I was able to hitch a ride down to the store with them. Arriving at the game store, were pleased to see around 10 other gamers already in attendance, with more arriving all the time. The turnout ended up being around 30.


Lieutenant Jonas lit up a lho stick as he gazed out into the predawn gloom. Yulanos was a terrible world for a Catachan at the best of times, and nighttime in the chem deserts was the worst of times. He could handle man eating plants and voracious predators, but the dry and toxic air was playing havoc with his nerves. Without the cloying humidity that was ever-present on Catachan, he felt naked and exposed.

He sighed and tapped his lho stick against his bolter stock and considered how they had been roped into this horrible clustergak. A number of orks had been sighted in the area, pillaging and looting the local settlements. The tacticians were worried that this was a precursor to an invasion and the entire regiment was ordered to dig in around settlements and hold for reinforcements. Then the Old Man had appeared out of no where, mumbling something about a Lieutenant of Ghazgkhull’s being out here. Jonas didn’t see how that was possible, since the beast of Armageddon was last seen five sectors away.

His reverie was shattered by a click over his comm.-bead. The forward sentries had spotted something inside the perimeter. Moments later he heard the tell-tale growl of orkish engines and the crunch of innumerable iron-shod boots over the dry and poisoned ground. Perhaps, he considered as he flipped the safety on his bolter, the Old Man was on to something after all.

My first matchup of the day was against an IG army, commanded by a very cool guy called Buddha (he had a real name, but said that everyone called him by his nickname instead). In any case, I was taken aback by his somewhat unconventional force composition:

Commissar Yarrick
Sly Marbo
10 Ratlings
Demolition Veteran Squad
3 meltas, demo charge
Veteran Squad
Bastonne, 3 meltas, lascannon
Veteran Squad
Harker, 3 sniper rifles, heavy bolter
Infantry Platoon
Command Squad
Officer with bolter, heavy bolter, grenade launcher
Infantry Squad
Autocannon, grenade launcher
Infantry Squad
Meltagun
(mounted in valkyrie)
Heavy weapons team
3 Missile launchers
Heavy weapons team
3 Missile launchers

3 Lascannons
Infantry Platoon
Command squad
Officer with bolter, mortar, grenade launcher
Infantry Squad
Autocannon, grenade launcher
Infantry Squad
Autocannon, grenade launcher
50 Conscripts
Valkyrie
Missile pods
3 Leman Russ Battle Tanks (squadron)
Hull lascannons
Death Strike Missile Launcher (!)
Camo netting

Whenever I see someone bring something that is universally panned, like a deathstrike, I get worried that they actually have a plan for it. Plus, against my army it is awful hard to miss…

The first mission was a modified seize ground with max objectives (one in center, two in each deployment zone) played on pitched battle with a killpoint tiebreaker. Oh, and to my surprise and joy, first turn is night fight. Our table was a desert setup with some ruin terrain and a whole mess of hills.



He won the roll for deployment and opted to go first. His valkyrie was in reserve and marbo was doing his stealth thing, while the baron was outflanking for me. I hoped to use him to neutralize the deathstrike before it went off. After both our deployments, it looked looked a little like this:



Turn 1:

IG 1:
I fail to seize the initiative, so he begins his movement. Being IG, this mainly consists of him shuffling his veteran squads forward a small amount to form a forward and rear line. He tries to shoot with the rest of his force. I say “try”, because first turn is night fight, so he cannot roll high enough to fire with the majority of his units. He plunks a few orks from my shootaz squad with his ratlings, while a combination of mortar and missile fire takes out a pair from my right hand sluggaz. Not too bad! Considering night fight however, I realize that I’m in for hell on turn two. Obviously, the death strike can’t fire this turn, which is another bonus.



Orks 1:
Everything save the lootaz steams forward. The sluggaz and kanz run as well, gaining good ground and setting me up for a productive second turn. The shootaz and the righthand lootaz open up on the ratlings, and despite a 3+ cover save, they lose 5 and fail their morale. I’m unable to kill one more model, however, so they’ll be able to rally next turn.



Turn 2:
IG 2
With the sun now fully over the horizon, the IG battle line opens up in a storm of firepower. Neither marbo or the Valkyrie shows up, however. The ratlings, in an uncharacteristic display of courage, decide to rally. The middle lefthand slugga squad absorbs the majority of the punishment, losing over 20 orks in the barrage. But all other foot mobz take casualties as well. On the bright side, both the battlewagons and kanz harmlessly absorb the various lascannons, missile launchers and meltaguns aimed their way. The KFF certainly had a hand in this. The KFF’s 4+ save on vehicles is just so key at times like this. The right hand lootaz are not so fortunate. They lose 4 models to a frag missile barrage and their nerve breaks, fleeing off the board.

“Orks in the wire!” came the fear tinged announcement over the commbead. The dawn was beginning to show the extent of the horde. A tide of black clad orks was moving at a headlong run over the wastes towards Jonas and his men. As the big guns of the 35th Armaggedon Armored Regiment spoke off to his left, Jonas gave the order to fire. A wave of firepower scythed forward from the Catachan lines, burning orks in their tracks and blasting great holes in the green lines.



Orks 2:
The black baron fails to show. So there’s no time for mucking around now, it’s time for a waagh! Both left hand slugga squads haul serious ass and get into charge range of their respective targets. The right hand sluggaz easily make range for their target vet squad. Knowing the baron won’t arrive in time to stop the deathstrike, the remaining lootaz try and target it but fail to even scratch the darn thing’s paint. Oh well, even if I had damaged it, it would have had a mighty 3+ cover save from the camo netting+the intervening wall of Leman Russes

The shootaz meanwhile knock the missile launcher team that had just killed the lootaz down to one base with one wound left. The weapon team makes its leadership test easily (being within Yarrick’s Aura of Discipline bubble). In combat, the demolition veterans are annihilated by the kanz and sluggaz by the central hill. On the other side of the battlefield an infantry squa is massacred by the heavily depleted sluggaz and I pull off the coveted “triple charge” with my sluggaz on the left hand, netting me a missile launcher squad, an infantry squad and a command squad. However, the Platoon commander rolls insane heroism and decides to fight it out against 20 angry orks. I guess they don’t breed for intelligence on Catachan.

In a red haze, Lieutenant Jonas screamed his warcry and he gave a ‘Catachan Kiss’ to an ork that was disemboweling his adjutant. The ork barely had time to turn before the lieutenant had jammed his blade into its throat. It collapsed to the ground, scratching frantically at the hilt. Caught up in his own fight, the Lieutenant didn’t notice that he and his command squad were the only surviving members of his platoon. The rest had been swept away or slain by the green tide.



Turn 3:

IG:
Again, his reserves fail to show. However, the deathstrike missile launches this turn. It lands right near the middle of the board in my middle slugga mob. 11 boyz are instantly killed and the mek/meganob battlewagon is turned into a crater. A kan is also unlucky enough to get caught in the blast and explodes. Wow. To compound matters, the leman russ squadron opens up on the suddenly-vulnerable meganobz and blows away the mek and 3 of the megaz (lascannons claimed one, but I failed two of four 2+ saves for the battlecannon hits). The meganobz run for the hills. Harker takes aim at the Slugga Mob that is just in front of the ordinance battery, killing a few orks and pinning them. The rest of the army punishes the central slugga mob some more, bringing them down to around 7 models, who duly break and run. Buddha tells me at this point that he’s enjoying breaking orks, something which he’s not used to doing. The insane heroism junior officer on the left pays for his bravey and is cut down with his last remaining men. The orks consolidate a mighty one inch.

Big Mek Klickinklak watched in awe from the safety of his battlewagon as the giant ‘umie rokkit fired up into the air and slowly descended onto the slugga mob to his right. It easily pierced the protective bubble of his Kustom Force Field and crashed into the orkish ranks. A brilliant flash of light and silence followed…

Moments later, Klickinklak dragged himself from the rubble that had once been his battlewagon. He smiled and danced a little jig. He had lived! Turning, he playfully smacked a recovering meganob on the back of the head. Then he heard the telltale sound of incoming battle cannon fire…



Ork 3:

The left hand sluggaz prove to be out of charge range for the leman russes. The full kan mob advances up as well but are well out of range of the russ squadron. dagnabbit, I’ll have to take another turn of fire from those beasts. Out of desperation, my full kan mob shoots the squadron and manages to stun one of them. Hurray! One less battle cannon shot next turn. Thinking that its time to start considering objectives my shootaz edge back towards my lefthand objective. The lootaz try to pick off the lone missile launcher and fail (he goes to ground).

Warboss Grubbynutz and his 8 nobz decide to join the fray, rocketing up in their wagon and depositing themselves between the two veteran squads. Along with the 2-model kan squad they dual charge the units and annihilate them. Bam! Harker and Bastonne dead in a single turn! Hurray! I look nervously at the battle cannons however.



Turn 4:
IG:
His Valkyrie AND Marbo decide to show up. Marbo drops in right behind my shootaz and lobs his demo pack. He kills several orks, but nothing to spectacular. The valkyrie has better luck and drives off my remaining lootaz with its missile pods. The conscripts, led by yarrick, trip through the watchtower building, only going one inch and doing some harmless shooting against the nob retinue. The two battle tanks know their time is limited, so they turn and fire at the warboss and his retinue. 4 nobz die and grubbynutz takes a wound. I FINALLY make a morale test and stick around with the retinue. The lascannons blast one of the killer kanz away. My force is dwindling, but so is his and I’m starting to see a path to a draw, if not an outright victory.



Ork 4:
The Black Baron arrives as well. He swoops in and singlehandedly kills an infantry squad by breaking them and running them down. The battlewagon tries to tank shock the lascannon teams off the board but they pass their leadership (though one is lost to an unfortunate death or glory. Marbo is absolutely annihilated by shoota fire.

Sighing, the warboss and company charge in to finish the job of killing the lascannon teams. The lone kan engages the platoon HQ and kills a couple but the guardsmen pass their leadership and stay. On the left, the leman russ squadron is finally silenced by a combined charge from the slugga mob and the killa kanz. That is a relief. The squad that had been pinned moves down the hill to go for the objective there.

Wiping gore from his power klaw, Warboss Grubbynutz looked over the corpses of the heavy weapons squad towards the seething mass of humanity that had taken position around the watchtower. His heart leapt as he saw the grim old man in the first rank. Yarrick was here!



Turn 5:

IG 5:
The Valkyrie carries its squad over to my objective. However, its missile pods prove to be just out of range of my shoota boyz. The multilaser snags one though. The conscripts and yarrick advance through the tower to surround their own objective with a mass of bodies. I guess I’m not getting that one. The ratlings shoot the baron to death (dagnabbit those little rats!). In combat, the kan eliminates the IG command squad and consolidates towards yarrick and company.



Ork 5:
Grubbynutz and the kanz make a beeline for the conscripts. Meawnwhile the depleted sluggaz board the battlewagon and claim the central IG objective. The kanz move south and target the valkyie. Their missiles only shake the skimmer (which is fine by me). The shoota boyz eliminate the last missile launcher. The kan charges into combat with the conscripts and Yarrick. It tries to kill yarrick but fails miserably. In reply yarrick immobilizes it.

Turn 6:

IG 6:
Not really a whole lot to do. The ratlings send some ineffectual fire towards the shootaz (who pass their cover from an intervening wall), while the valkyrie hovers in place over the objective. In combat, Yarrick whiffs against the kan, who turns and snips a conscript apart. The conscripts pass their leadership roll to stay in combat.

Ork 6:
A bit of shuffling here and there to make sure that I’m firmly in control of my objectives. The kanz fail miserably against the valkyrie, while Grubbynutz and his nobz are unable to contest the IG objective held by the conscripts (just too many bodies in the way and some awful run+difficult terrain moves).




Results:
Objectives 2-2 Tie!
I am beating him by a LOT in kill points however, so it is a minor victory to me!

Warboss Grubbynutz stomped his foot in frustration (squishing a luckless guardsmen). The wall of conscripts was separating him from the umie known as Yarrick (who was even now dismantling one of his kanz). Ghazgkhull himself had told Grubbynutz what a formidable warrior Yarrick was and how he, Ghazgkhull would be the one to krump him one day. Grubbynutz was determined to beat his master to it, but here he was, denied his prize by a bunch of grotty looking umies! The fact that the humies were retreating and leaving him in possession of the battlefield barely registered

Hope you guys enjoyed the report.

[Monster Rain]

Nice report! The Deathstrike certainly did a number on your boyz. It seems like it's certainly due a little more respect than it gets.

[droofus]

Thanks man. Yeah, though I doubt it would do good against armies that don't bunch up - like yours.

Here's report #2...

The line of black armored vehicles moved through the dead landscape, sending up plumes of grey ash into the sky. This had once been a prosperous settlement facilitating the trade between two major hives Nothing lived here now, the settlement having been flattened by Imperial Artillery in an effort to stop the orks. They had failed.

Such a loss, reflected Marshal Hylanar, to see so many of the emperor’s servants cut down by the xenos beasts. It had been less than a week since the Catachan’s had been defeated in the hinterlands of the equatorial continent and already the xenos had taken over three of the five major landmasses on Yulanos IV. The PDF had deserted en masse, leaving it to the guardsmen and astartes warriors to defend the terrified populace. They had done their best, evacuating what people they could to the hives on the two continents that were, for the moment, safe. The hive cities there were being armed and fortified to the best of their ability. The orks would not capture this planet without a fight.

But for all his fanaticism, the marshal was first and foremost a seasoned warrior. He knew that the orks would soon strike at the last imperial bastions on the planet and that when they did, the planet would fall. That was why he had begun planning a raid deep into one of the ork-held continents to find and kill their supreme warboss. As he was making preparations for the raid, he was contacted by Imperial High command. Apparently, one of their spies had identified the Warboss, a certain “Gubbynotz”, and had managed to get his location.

The Marshal was not a man to hold back when given information such as this. He had left with a demi company that very night. The Thunderhawks had deployed them within 3 miles of their target. Even now, Hylanar was the first to see the mass of green and black up ahead. They had found their target.

My second game was against Black Templar, commanded by a fellow named Ian. He was a great sport throughout and we both came out smiling despite a few rules disputes.

His list looked like this:

Marshal
Power weapon, artificer armor, bolt pistol
Emperor’s champion
Grey Knight Grandmaster
Psychic hood
5 Sword Brethren
1 Power sword and bolt pistol, 1 twin linked lightning claws, 3 bolt pistol and ccws
Dreadnought
Twin lascannons, missile launchers, extra armor, tank hunter
5 Grey Knight Terminators
1 Incinerator, 1 Thunder-hammer/stormshield
9 Initiates
Bolt pistol/ccw x 7, meltagun x1, power fist and bolt pistol x1
Rhino
Extra armor, smoke launchers
9 Initiates
Bolt pistol/ccw x 7, meltagun x1, power fist and bolt pistol x1
Rhino
Extra armor, smoke launchers
10 Initiates
8x bolters, 1x meltagun, 1x bolter and power fist
Rhino
Extra armor, smoke launchers
5 Initiates
Lascannon
Land Raider Crusader
Vindicator
Extra armor, rough terrain modification
Vindicator
Extra armor, rough terrain modification

Meh… a small mechanized space marine force. Just like the other thousand in the tournament. I’m used to this. Granted they are black templars and grey knights instead of the usual Codex Astartes variety, but close enough! The vindies and the land raider worried me though.

The mission was a modified annihilation mission on Dawn of War. The modified part was that units were worth a variable amount based on what section of the force organization they came from. Troops and dedicated transports were worth 1, elites, fast attack and heavy support were worth 2 each and HQ was worth a mighty 5 points. This worked to my favor, as he had brough 3 HQ units to the battle (emperors champion doesn’t count towards the 2 unit HQ maximum).

In any case we were playing on a table with multiple ruins and some scattered area terrain. In general the pieces were large and far between.



He won the roll to deploy first and plopped down two rhino-borne initiate squads, one of whom was led by their marshal. I put down two huge slugga mobz and the mek. My baron is declared to be outflanking, as is his sword brethren squad.



I then rolled and SEIZED the iniatiative! Booyah!

Turn 1:
Orks:
I roll on with everything save the baron. My forward mobz continue to push the envelope, advancing into templar territory and running to get even closer. Everything else runs as well. Nothing shoots.due to movement/nightfight.



Black Templar:
He rolls on with everything except his sword brethren. He splits his vindicators to either side and his land raider in the middle, forming what looks like tasks forces involving a rhino and a heavy support tank each. The grey knights disembark to assault the left hand sluggaz. They, combined with the shots from the land raiders machine spirit, manage to down around 5 sluggaz. The vindicator on the right sends a shot through the ruins, but only 3 sluggaz die.

He charges in with his Grey Knights and Grandmaster. He kills around 12 sluggaz. In reply, I’m able to pull down a single terminator. After a horrific amount of fearless saves, my few remaining boyz pile in.



Killpoint Count: Orks: 0, Black Templar: 0

Turn 2:
Orks:
The baron fails to arrive. Gosh he’s slow today. My back line continues to plod forward, except for the lootaz, who prepare to unleash hell on the templar lines. My mek detachs from my full-strength forward sluggaz and hops in with the meganobz. The sluggaz themselves head towards the grey knight combat. The battlewagons reach the center of the board.

Shooting sees my lootaz immobilize the right flank rhino and kill the left hand side one. Prepare to walk, templar boyz! More running from the rear sluggaz, shootas and kanz.

My other forward sluggaz charge the grey knights. I’m a bit distant so only partial contact can be made. The upshot is only two grey knight terminators die this turn for the loss of around 9 orks. The squad that took the wounds last turn breaks and run, while the bigger squad takes fearless wounds and comes down to around half its original size. Not good.



Black Templar:
In his turn, his marshal squad pulls themselves from the wreckage of their rhino and begin advancing towards my loota/shoota encampment, while the Emperor’s champion leads his squad towards the left flank. Vindicators follow in the wake of both groups. The initiate squad in the center disembarks from their rhino, which goes screaming ahead to screen them.

In shooting the left hand vindicator targets the shoota boyz and blows away a handful of them. The right hand side vindie tries to target the lootaz but is out of range. The land raider stays still in order to fire its weaponry at the warbosses battlewagon. Fortunately, it fails to hurt it. The lascannon initiate squad and the dreadnought target the mek’s battlewagon and manage to stun it (downgraded to shaken) but nothing else. Thank god for the kustom force field. His marshal and emperor’s champion squads run to get some extra movement.

Close combat sees my slugga squad predictably mashed up. They do manage to kill one more grey knight before they’re gone, leaving just a wounded grand master and a single terminator left.

Killpoint Count: Orks 1 (rhino), Black Templars 2 (slugga boy squadd)



Turn 3:
Orks:
Okay, so time to hit with my battlewagon force. Grubbynutz and his nobz are disembark in front of the land raider (which remained stationary) while the meganobz disembark to kill the grand master. The mek stays safely ensconced in the battlewagon. I know exactly what happens if the mek charges the Grand Master with the nobz. The shoota boyz move up and end within around 6” of the marshals squad. Now I get to show my worthy opponent that I’ve fought black templar before and know how to game the system. Kanz and slugga on the right surge forward.

The shootaz open up on the marshal squad, kill one and bring them running 3” closer! Hurray! In shooting right hand lootaz explode the rhino they had damaged last turn (its either that or scratch the paint on the vindicator or give the emperor’s champion squad more movement… no thank you! The lefthand lootaz targe the grandmaster and company and manage to kill the last terminator. The grandmaster is now ALL alone!

Then comes my favorite phase – close combat! The warboss absolutely annihilates the land raider, which wounds a nob in its explosion. A price well worth paying. The meganobz lose two of their number fighting the grandmaster, but they finally tear him down. They consolidate towards the vindicator on that side. Meanwhile, my shootaz charge the marshal’s squad. The marshal and his initiates dispose of half a dozen sluggaz before 6 of them meet their end on a choppa and the marshal dies a grisly power-klaw related death.

Black Templar:
I dealt him a serious blow last turn, and he’s reeling, but he tries to recover. Both vindicators move up. The emperors champion and company move towards the slugga mob on that side, while the initiate squad in the center goes for the nobz (hmmm).

In shooting he tries for my battlewagon with the mek inside and bounces off the KFF. The dreadnought and the meltaguns from the initiate squad in the center have more luck and kill a couple nobz. He fires the righthand vindicator into my slugga boyz and they lose quite a few. However, I pull them from the front to deny his champion squad a charge. Hey, it’s ‘Ard Boyz! He charges my nobz with the initiate squad in the center, doing a couple more wounds but losing most of their own squad in return. The templar pass their armor saves. The shootaz kill two more from the depleted marshal squad on the left, but the templar kill two themselves, meaning that it’s a drawn combat between one lonely templar and the 16+ strong ork mob.



Kill point totals: Orks 15 (Grey Knight Terminators [1], Grey Knight Grandmaster [5], 2 rhinos, land raider [2], marshall [5], Black Templar: 2 (2 slugga mobz)

Turn 4:
Orks:
The baron finally arrives this turn. He ends up showing right behind the righthand vindicator. My meganobz cruise towards the other vindicator and the sluggaz aim for the templar squad led by the emperor’s champion.

I waagh in the shooting phase. My meganobz steam towards the vindicator and the sluggaz get even closer to the emperor’s champion squad. Lootaz on the right target the vindie and shake it a couple times. The baron also fails to hurt it. Left hand lootaz try and do the same to their vindicator, but fail to scratch the paint. One squadron of Kanz annihilate the central rhino with rokkitz while the second squadron shakes the dreadnought.

In close combat, the emperors champion and his entire squad are pounded into the dirt by the charging sluggaz while the vindicator on the left is blown sky high by the rampaging meganobz. Meawhile, the warboss and crew dispose of the last initiates in the center as the shootaz do the same to sole remaining member of the marshal’s squad. The only place that combat doesn’t go according to plan is the baron, who whiffs against the rear armor of the right hand vindicator.



Black Templar:
He pretty much knows things are over at this point, but he’s going to make a desperate grab for my HQ kill points by charging his dread into my warboss+nobz squad. The vindicator that was shaken uses its power of the machine spirit to target my kan mob and kill one of them with a demolisher shell. The other kanz weather the dispersed ordinance well enough (5+2d6 take highest against 11 is pretty safe). The small initiate squad tries to kill the baron but fails. The baron lives! The dreadnought charges in against the nobz but fails to hurt them. In reply, the ancient marine is ripped to pieces.



Kill point totals: Why beat a dead horse? Suffice to say he still only has 2.

Turn 5:
Orks:

The warboss moves up and annihilates his remaining initiate squad. The baron and the right hand sluggaz mob the vindicator and kill it dead.



Black Templar:
He brings his outflanking sword brethren on and kills the baron. This act doubles his kill point total from 2 to 4. He then concedes.



Results:
Ork KPs: 27
Black Templar KPs: 4
So its a clear massacre. I then hear the news that most of the people who got massacre wins in round one got ties or losses in round two. This means I have a chance. Hurray!

Warboss Grubbynutz sat perched on top of the sarcophagi of the Black Templar dreadnought. The ancient warrior within was dead, killed by his power klaw. He wondered how the humans had gotten information on where to find him. After all, his warband was only one of thousands now scouring the landmasses.

Out of the corner of his beady eyes, he noticed a fat buzzard landing next to him and attempting to peck through the adamantium shell of the dreadnought. d**n coward birds were always trying to profit from the good krumpin’ that he and his Goff ladz did. They almost reminded him of…

Suddenly, he loosed a rage filled roar and splattered the bird all over the ruined dreadnought with his klaw. He knew exactly who had tipped off the ‘umies. Rising, he called for his mekboy.

“Klicky! Get over ‘ere! We’ze got some business to take of wif da Bad Moonz!”

Stay tuned for the third and final 'ard boyz report!

[FaithandFire]

Drew - You write kick-**s battle reports! Can't wait for the next one.

[hardihar]

Drew cool battlereports,

dont forget to sign up for the semis, just talked to the guys in Bangor at 3 geek and they want us there near 8 in the AM.

The phone is [phone]ý

[ross]

8am! how people do they expect?

[hardihar]

lol 3 stores in ME, 1 in NH, 4 or 5 in Mass? though the mass stores are probably going to be closer to Long Island.

so 27 peeps could be there, the only other one is Quebec that could have a winner that might go to Bangor.

but bloody bangor, it really is the bloody back end of no where.

[droofus]

Jul 16, 2009 18:13:37 GMT -5 hardihar said:

Drew cool battlereports,

dont forget to sign up for the semis, just talked to the guys in Bangor at 3 geek and they want us there near 8 in the AM.

The phone is [phone]ý

Thanks for the number Chuck. I guess that seals it - I'm definitely getting a room for the night.

So now for the final and most epic battle of my 'Ard Boyz adventures - in which Grubbynutz confronts a cowardly backstabbing bad moon warboss and his 4 battlewagons!

“ ‘ello Grubby-Boy!” hollered the bad moon warboss from the command deck of his Battlewagon, “Why iz you comin’ to our territory? I thought yoo waz goin’ to da ‘umie lands! Yoo waz gonna whip ‘em good for us!” A chorus of howls and laughs broke out from the line of idling Bad Moon vehicle. Giffdulk, Bad Moon Warboss and backstabber extraordinaire, having said his piece, kept a straight face the whole time. Still, Grubbynutz could see a small smirk was forcing its way onto his broad green face. From the command deck of his battlewagon, Grubbynutz raised one hairy eyebrow and responded.

“I haz come cuz yoo haz betrayed me!” he roared, stomping one massive foot and denting the deck. This of course only made him more angry. “You told da ‘umies were I was! I sorted dem proppa and now I’ze comin’ for yoo!” A how of assent went up from the waves of Goff infantry behind him. Giffdulk only smiled.

“Of course I betrayed yoo, yoo dumb Goff git!” Giffdulk laughed, his massive, mega-armored form rocking crazily from the battlewagon. “I guess I shouldn’ta trusted da ‘umies to do my job for me. Now I haz to kill you myself. Yer teef should buy a real good ‘wagon!”

“My teef would buy yoo a Kill-Krooza, yoo fat git!” roared Grubbynutz, “But you hazn’t got da gutz to take ‘em from me!”

With that, both sides began revving their engines as the ‘waaagh” built up between them.

My final battle of the day, much to my delight and fear, was against another ork player. His army was very different than mine, being the traditional “Battlewagon Rumble”. Having thought about running such a list myself, it was cool to see it on the table. His list looked a bit like this:

Ghazghkull (I’m counting him as a super-powered Bad Moon Warboss in this, since my opponent was running Bad Moonz and Grubbynutz is one of Ghaz’s lieutenants from Uruk).
Mek
Kustom force field, burna, cybork body, bosspole
8 Nobz
3 klaws, waaagh banner, painboy, all are different
Battlewagon
Big shoota, red paint job, grot riggers, deffrolla, armor plates
15 Burna Boyz
(Mounted in one of the wagons)
13 Kommandoz
2 Burnaz, Boss Snikrot
10 Grotz, 1 Slaver
20 Slugga Boyz
Nob with bosspole and power klaw
(Mounted in one of the wagons)
20 Slugga Boyz
Nob with bosspole and power klaw
(Mounted in one of the wagons)
12 Shoota Boyz
Nob with bosspole and power klaw
Trukk
12 Shoota Boyz
Nob with bosspole and power klaw
Trukk
3 Skorcha Traks
Battlewagon
Big shoota, red paint job, grot riggers, deffrolla, armor plates
Battlewagon
Big shoota, red paint job, grot riggers, deffrolla, armor plates
Battlewagon
Big shoota, red paint job, grot riggers, reinforced ram, armor plates

Mission:
It was basically a capture and control with the objectives in the neutral quarters. Kill points would be used as a tie-breaker.

Board:
Our board was another desert board, but this time with more ruins. I won the roll to choose first and I decided to choose the edge with a big hill for my lootaz.



Deployment:
I deployed with my nob and meganob squads in their wagons at the center. They were flanked on either side by kanz and boyz. My plan was to use my nobz and kanz to kill my way through my opponents army while my boyz went out and seized the objectives. As a last minute decision, I put the baron down as close to his deployment zone as possible. Time to do a deffkopta first turn ambush.

He deployed a very scary wall of battlewagons, behind which his trukks and skorchaz were sheltering. Snikrot and company sheltered in reserve, obviously having something horrible in store for my lootaz (who were already feeling quite useless matched against that wall of AV14). The grotz stay in reserve as well, thinking of late turn objective grabs.



Scout move:

I rocket the baron forward to end his move just outside 12” from Ghazgkhull’s wagon.

Turn 1:
Goff 1:
The baron closes to assault range of the wagon, while the rest of the force moves up. I’m quite cautious with my wagons, not wanting to get assaulted first. The kanz move up in support. The shootaz head for the objective on the right, while two slugga mobz are sent left. The final slugga mob is left in place to make sure that A) the kommandoz don’t assault both sluggaz at once and B) possibly kill snikrot and company after they kill a single loota squad.

Loota and rokkit fire is completely ineffective against the battlewagons. In close combat, the baron does better and wrecks Ghaz’s wagon with his mighty buzzsaw. Go baron! Ghazgkull and the mek disembark out front (more than 1” away from the baron) while the nobz bail out back.



Bad Moon 1:
First he compliments me on the Deffkopta move, saying he’s never seen it before. I get a warm fuzzy feeling that he’ll be sharing this with his regular opponents by using it on them.

He first gets ghaz and the mek out of the way by moving them up and embarking on the burna wagon. Then he proceeds to tank shock the baron with his northern slugga deffrolla wagon and squish the poor little guy (oh well he did his job!). The southern, deffrolla-less wagon advances through some ruins while the burna wagon advances to threaten my left flank. I realize that I need to kill the rest of those wagons ASAP.

He also kicks one of the shoota mobs out of their trucks and takes the truck with the nobz, who follow ghaz over to my left flank (while cannily keeping out of LOS of my lootaz.



Turn 2:
Goff 2:
I figure my only hope is to charge and kill the wagons in close combat. Only by doing that can I rob my opponent of his advantage over me, namely his mobility. To this end, my boss wagon rolls up and disgorges nobz right in front of his central (slugga bearing) wagon. The rightward kanz move to intercept the deffrolla-less wagon that’s farthest south, while the northern kanz move to intercept ghazs wagon. The rest of the sluggaz and shootaz (save the loota-sitting sluggaz) move up in support. Lootaz again lack a target. He was very good at keeping his little trucks (they were the old style ones) out of my LOS.

In close combat, I charge my kanz and nobz in against his three remaining battlewagons. The southern kanz explode theirs, killing 5 of the sluggaz inside. The northern kanz do the same to the ghaz/mek/burna wagon, killing 3 of the burnaz. Meanwhile the warboss and his nobz wreck the central wagon (the big choppaz wrecked it before the boss had a chance to attack).

The sluggaz can’t disembark the entire unit without ending up on top of the wreck, so after some head scratching my opponent suggested that we just disembark the unit onto the wreck and count them as making a emergency disembarkation in his turn. Looking back over the rules, I don’t think we played this right, but it seemed a good compromise at the time.

At this point I’m feeling pretty good. All his wagons are dead. On the downside, I’m now looking down the barrel of twelve lootaz AND ghazgkull with my nobz. Oh well, you can’t win ‘em all.



Bad Moon 2:
He rockets his nob truck over the hill and disgorges the nobz a ways from my sluggaz. I figure it would take around a 6” waagh for him to get in assault range. Then I remember he has Ghaz. Ghaz himself detachs from the burnaz and goes after my Mek/Meganobz wagon. southern slugga mob goes after my shootaz, who are in the open. The truck borne shootas move up in support. He waaaghs to get everything in assault range.

He easily blows up the wagon with Ghaz. The meganobz are not pinned. Meanwhile, the Bad Moon nobz butcher a whole lot of my boyz in the north quadrant, killing them down to just the nob after fearless wounds (I had to take 14 or so fearless wounds… nasty!). They lose assorted wounds and a single nob (to my klaw) in response. Down south, things are not so nasty, but I still lose combat with my shootaz against his sluggaz. After my fearless wounds, we’re both pretty reduced.



Turn 3:
Goff 3:
Well ouch! That certainly hurt a lot. Time to try and stem his counter-attack. My battlewagon tries unsuccessfully to tank-shock the burnaz away. Meganobz and mek pull themselves from the rubble and move + waaagh to get into assault range of his regular nobz. The northern sluggaz do the same. The northern kanz move to intercept the burna boyz and avenge the warboss, whle the southern kanz go to help out my shoota boyz.

I finally have a target for my lootaz – the skorchaz, and I decimate them, blowing two up and stunning the third. The explosion kills my nob who was the last model in close combat against his nobz.

In the northern combat, my meganobz and sluggaz steam in and kill the enemy nobz down to one model. That one model makes his insane heroism roll. Groovy. I lose a few sluggaz, but nothing important. In the south the kanz see off the offending slugga boyz and free my shootaz from the combat. In the center, the burnaz and mek are reduced to 3 models by the kanz. Amazingly they make their leadership test too!



Bad Moon 3:
Snikrot comes in this turn. He and his mob move up to engage both my sluggaz and farther-back lootaz. They run the lootaz off and cause some fearless wounds on the sluggaz. I’m beginning to think that holding my sluggaz back might not have been such a bright idea. His grotz also show up this turn, walking on from his table edge behind the building.

He charges Ghaz into the back of my meganobz. He kills three of the meganobz before he and the last bad moon nob (mr insane heroism) are killed. His trukkless shootaz charge my wagon and immobilize it. In the south he zips his truck around my kanz and deposits his shootaz within charge range of my shootaz. They shoot my shootaz to death.

His sluggaz that had emergency disembarked the turn before pour out of their battlewagon and engage my front kanz. The kanz snip apart a couple orks, but more are killed when one of the kanz is blown sky high by the nob. His mek is finally snipped apart by my kanz in the center. The burnaz, without his bosspole, decide to flee (and are never heard from again because they are below 50%)



Turn 4:
Goff 4:
Things are getting pretty close now. I have to make sure that his scoring units on the southern objectives die while keeping my slugga mob alive on my side.

In the north, my sluggaz move up and annihilate his grotz. They consolidate back towards the objective.

My central kanz, free of the burnaz, amble down to attack the shootaz. They kill a few but one of their number is immobilized and dies. Southern kanz are still scrumming with the bad moon sluggaz down there. They get a few and the nob is unable to kill any of them in response

Lootaz fail utterly to hurt the northern truck (1s for shots and lots of misses).

My last meganob (who has a skorcha-kombi) and the mek try to embark on the battlewagon for some nice flameage on the shoota who are clustered around the front of the wagon, but fail to reach it. This means that in combat, the Bad Moon shootas kill my now-immobile wagon with their power klaw. Oh well.

Snikrot and his ladz destroy my sluggaz. That ork is a beast! They consolidate towards my lootaz.



Bad Moon 4:
Snikrot charges and butchers my last loota squad. The shootaz in the north shoot and kill my big mek. The last megnaob passes his leadership test. In the south the both kan units annihilate their opposition, leaving them in sole position of the objective. They consolidate towards the southern truck.



Turn 5:
Goff 5:
One turn to go. One squadron of kanz kills the southern truck while the other squadron moves up in a vain effort to get in range of the northern truck. The meganob trips through the ruins and can’t quite make it to any enemies. The sluggaz back off and claim the objective.



Bad Moon 5:
His shootaz embark on the truck (which moves over to get them) preparing for a last turn charge and contest. Snikrot dances around the corpses of the 50 Goffs that he and his squad have killed (read – does nothing).



Turn 6:
Goff 6:
It all comes down to this, if my meganob and kanz can’t stop the last truck, then the shootaz will rokkit over the hill, shoot up my sluggaz and charge them, possibly winning the game for him and probably drawing it. My meganob lurches up through the ruins with some good rolls, getting him in skorcha range. But both he and the kanz fail to hurt the beast in shooting.

Assault phase: My meganob needs at least a 4+ on his slow and purposeful dice to assault. I get a 5 and a 2. Good. Now, with 4 attacks, I need at least one six to hurt the truck. To my delight, I am able to hit once. Now all I need is a 2+ to penetrate. I roll a one. Glancing hit! With both of us at the verge of a nervous breakdown I roll the damage die…. 5. -2 to for glancing is 3, weapon destroyed! But wait, the truck is open-topped as well. This bumps it up to a 4 – immobilized! I cheer. He groans.



Bad Moon 6:
He tries to get his shootaz in assault range of my slugga mob, but I’m out of assault range. Game over.



Results:
Objectives
Goffs: 1
Bad Moonz: 0
Kill points:
Goffs: 14 (Ghaz, Mek, Burnaz, Nobz, 2 Sluggaz, 1 Shoota, 1 trukk, 4 battlewagons, skorchaz, grotz )
Bad Moonz: 11 (Warboss, Mek,, Nobz, 2 Battlewagons, 2 Sluggaz, 1 Shootaz, Deffkopta, 2 Lootaz)

Massacre for da GOFFS!

Grubbynutz groaned and opened his eyes. He saw the syringe descending on his skull and batted it away.

"Oy boss, I'm just trying to 'elp!" Doctor McOrky protested innocently, pocketing the syringe and stepping back from the makeshift bed.

"Sure yoo were doc" growled Grubbynutz, gingerly rubbing the seared green flesh across his arms and chest. Those burna boyz had nasty weapons. "Did we kill dat git Giffdulk?"

"Aye boss, da megaz ripped 'im apart" the doc replied glumly, still disappointed that he wasn't able to try out his "speshul ellyxur" on the boss. Grubbynutz nodded and laid back down, a fang filled smile taking over his face.

"Well good. Now all we haz to do is conquer da planet."

[Monster Rain]

Why must we have this senseless Ork on Ork violence? Aside from your swipe at Mechanized Space Marine forces(XD) these have been excellent battle reports. I love seeing the Black Baron raping someone else's vehicles on the first turn...